There Is No Spoon

You may remember that line from The Matrix. These words are also carved into the wall above the urinal at the "satellite office." I do not know why. It is an eye-opening moment for Neo when the young lad teaches him a lesson in reality. In order for Neo to be able to bend the spoon with his mind, he had to first accept the reality that there is no spoon.

I had an eye-opening moment yesterday. For years I have been living in  disappointment because I had this image of what life and family should be like, and, twice now, that image has failed to be lived up to. I have always looked for the magic in life. For example, I have wondered if I have ever been "in love" before. In my mind, there was no "magic" in my relationships. There was love, but it had to be worked at; it didn't just happen magically.

Growing up in a broken family, I used to daydream about having a "normal" family like all of my friends had. A father AND a mother. Not just mother, like I had. My parents fought all the time. There was no magic. After my father abandoned us, I used to daydream about him coming home and resuming his place as man of the house. At 10 years old, I was the "man of the house." Mom supported 3 of us on less than five bucks an hour. Money was always tight. Where was the magic?

I surrendered to the ministry and did youth ministry, prison ministry, music ministry, preaching, teaching, and missions. I had the minister's dream. I had a wife, children, a house, and a great church. After 13 years, my marriage to the mother of my three children ended. How could this be? God would NEVER let this happen! I once vowed that my children would never have to live as I did, and now I was faced with the reality that their home was about to be broken. Surely not! I prayed. I fasted. I begged and pleaded with God to save my marriage. I knew He could, and I believed He would. He didn't. Where was the magic?

I remarried a few years ago to a great woman. We combined our children into a blended family. I had high hopes that we would all mesh and be happy. Instead, there were problems. Money problems. Child problems. Ex-spouse problems. Pet problems. In-law problems. It seemed that every time we took 2 steps forward, we'd get knocked back 5 more. Where was the magic?

I have been looking at my life lately. I often compare myself to others and realize how I fail to match up to their successes. I feel like a misfit sometimes, and that I don't really fit in anywhere. I am 21 years old for the second time, and where is the magic?

Reality check.

There is no magic.

Magic only happens in the movies or sitcoms. Life is hard. Real life. There is no magic; we are just to do the best we can with what we have. This realization actually caused a huge weight to lift from my shoulders. My life doesn't have to be perfect, or even magical. I just have to do the best I can to love the people I love and work hard at my passions. The magic may or may not ever be there, but the joy of just living life seems to bring with it a "magic" all its own.

Besides, who really needs to bend a spoon with their mind anyway?

Comments

Anonymous said…
Buddy, there is a "bent spoon" everyday. I have been where you are. I know I am blessed regardless of whether or not I see that spoon bend everyday. But like you it took me a very long time to see it. I know even though things are pretty calm now there will be tribulations ahead that will rock me to my core. I live for the now and appreciate where I have come from...it gets me through where I need to go. God bless you...hope you see the bent spoon everyday! Debbie
Todd R. Vick said…
Thank you, Debbie (do I know you?). I am trying to learn contentment at any level. It is a process. Thanks for chiming in.
Anonymous said…
There is indeed so much magic in life. The problem is that we look for the big show and the 'taa daa!' but life ain't Disneyworld. There is magic in hearing your child laugh, having your pet on your lap, enjoying a meal with your family...and a million other little things. Magic is about illusion, but life is about reality, and I personally choose each day to find the good. Trust me, it works, even where is plenty of bad!
Paula Faye said…
Magic for me is having a JTC Lemonade/Mango smoothie and how it makes me feel. Have one! Celebrate the little things and just grit your teeth through the not so little times. It works for me. If you decide to try it I have an awesome orthodontist who can fix you up after all the teeth gritting. Looking forward to my next JTC Smoothie experience. YUMMO!
Heather Babes said…
Todd,

Hey!

This post makes me ecstatic :)

That has to be magical :)

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